We Have a Goliath
by THE-BEAST-WARDEN
Summary: That moment when you say something best left to yourself. Sometimes its really hard to keep your mouth closed. I didn't want to waste such an opportune burn. Especially to a God(dess). But, as with all great things, you have to suffer the consequences of your actions, even if you don't regret them.
1. Chapter 1

**_Ok_****_._**

**_So next time, don't insult the Cross-Dimensional Primordial Goddess._**

Still better than dealing with **Nika.**

_Sooo._

* * *

Where am I now?

I push out with my arms, unable to open my eyes in whatever cocoon thing is holding me captive.

My hands feel against some kind of leathery material, ridges lignin the walls as motioned my arms through whatever jelly like fluid – Oh.

Oh shit.

I'm in a damn egg aren't I.

Viscous laughter pokes me in the back of my head, and with little doubt I know that she's still monitoring me.

_Fantastic._

"He..I…hink….Found….on…till….tact."

What?

With what little strength I can muster, I press myself against the wall.

There is no way in hell that I'm going to let myself be caught with my pants down.

…

_Shut up._

I know I'm a creature in an egg but you know what?

_Shut up._

* * *

_"Guy's…..ts…..oving…..wha…really?...fi…."_

**There right outside!?**

**_Oh this is going to suck!_**

Finally breaking through the egg shell, I crash into the ground in an undignified heap.

"Wow. It's actually smaller than they normally are." A purely angelic voice notes.

"Still doesn't make me want to shoot it any less." Someone adds afterwards, completely ruining the moment.

As hard as I try I can't even lift myself look up at whoever's talking about me.

God I must look_ pathetic_ right now.

What happened next caught me off guard, and apparently her team as well.

A pair of slender arms, petite really, grabbed me from underneath my arms like a parent lifting a child.

**_Holy shi-_**

I'm face to face with** Caira** _freaking_ **Diaz.**

The _medic._

The _medic_ with a _healing_ grenade launcher.

The _medic_ with a _healing_ grenade launcher from_ freaking_ Evolve.

_**Well then.**_

She peers at my face closely, ignoring the yells from her teammates to put me down, one that I could easily tell to be Hyde saying that I would make a good pelt.

_Dick. _

I stare back, eyes wide and more than likely surprised to her.

She turned around, ponytail smacking my still shocked face, and I didn't even notice.

"Hey _Abe_, aren't Goliath's supposed to be like, Seven feet tall or something from birth?"

Abe took a glance at me, and I shrunk in on myself, I don't care what anyone thinks, that guy is almost as terrifying as Maggie.

"Seems worth studying don't you think? And it's not like we've had the chance to ever study a live one."

She snaps her head back to me so quickly I can feel my own neck ache.

She leans in close, our faces nearly touching as she stares even closer to my own face. A smile appears that just seems to reach her eyes.

"I'm going to call you_ Fluffles_."

...

Wait. **_What._**


	2. Chapter 2

**Soo, to those of you who play video games, I'll be getting PS4 in the near future, and in relation to that, I'll be writing some parody or offshoots for moments between me and my friends, specifically Warframe to name one.**

**Now that I'm sure you've all waited long enough for this. I present to a piping hot new chapter of-**

**[Door is kicked in by followers.]**

**YO, IS THAT A NEW CHAPTER OF WE HAVE A GOLIATH?**

**….**

**How did you people even find my address…?**

**DOESN'T MATTER. GIVE IT UP.**

**Don't own Evolve **

**Only**** own the Goliath sized OC inside. **

**Sorry.**

**I'll stop with the bad puns**

* * *

_Ugh._

Wonder what they hit me with this time.

_Claws?_

Filed down to angled nubs.

_Great._

**Hmph.**

_Tail?_

I can feel a bundle of muscles surrounding bone wag from side to side, although slow and tedious.

_Still there!_

At this point, intrigued audience of mine, I bet your wondering what you've missed so far?

So after some very thorough and very invasive testing, that apparently it seems that Goliath's had an accelerated growth rate nearly identical to that of a human infant.

**_Like._**

They grew by the **minute**.

Like _**freaking bamboo.**_

By the time I had awoken from my last tranquilizer induced coma, which mind you lasted a whole four days, I had literally grown enough that I was just barely passing for a fully grown **Stage-1**.

Cabot had made the leading statement that if I were to get any bigger before they could find a workable study area that they would have to increase the resources that were being shipped in for the research.

Lazarus was already giving a 10 point speech on why they should keep me.

Caira had voted yes.

Big surprise when she's holding me close enough that I can smell what kind of **bath soap** she used last night.

_What?_

I'm not telling you guys what fruit she happens to smell like.

_Perverts._

Parnell, word for word had said,_"Why the hell not?"_ and raised his hand.

Abe and Maggie too.

Hyde said I would be better off as a new coat.

He could go get the other side of his face maimed for all I care.

I made my vote by slinking up alongside Caira and laying down near her feet.

_Like a giant cat._

A _**giant,**_ _fire breathing, scaled, muscular cat._

_**From space.**_

_The mental images are real._

Cairia had even taken the effort between her downtime to assist Lazarus in studying me. To them, I was a biological **goldmine** compared to the corpses they had been able to somewhat recover from the field when they weren't evacuating civilians.

Hyde still wanted to kill, gut, and then use my freshly harvested intestines as a three-course meal.

He can go eat all the bags of _di-_

"Hey Fluffles!"

I can feel the muscles in my eye contract sharply, bringing a near unnoticeable twitch to those gazing at me.

Caira still didn't take the fact that I could quite easily rip her apart with a simple tug, but the fact that every single person on-board the Laurie Anne carried weapons that were always maintained, always loaded, and with the safety always off, I had slim chances of making it far if at all.

I tilted my head to the side, just enough so that the shackles that were bound to the collar they had fitted around my neck during one of my 'naps', allowed me to look at her with one large, scarlet eye.

Unfazed by the fact that a dangerous multi-ton creature had leaned in closer to examine whatever she had in her hands, be it food or general curiosity that she believed had drawn it attention she smiled just seemed to grow.

"Want to go for a walk?" She leans in closer, holding something totally _illogical_ and _unnerving_ in her hands.

_**How do they even make something that size…?**_

* * *

Parnell had deemed it an a good idea to see what the Goliath was up to as well as make idle talk with Caira, when he made his way to the cargo bay of the ship.

The medic that didn't even flinch at ordering a specialized Grenade launcher from R&amp;D was truly something special.

Passing by Hyde who was having a heated conversation with Lazarus on what they should do with Caira's new pet, he kept his stride.

When he saw Maggie, Daisy included, _chuckling_ to herself while pulling Cabot who was looking like a fish gasping for air, making strained gestures with his hands as he tried to relearn how his vocal cords worked.

_He kept walking forward._

He didn't miss the way that Maggie slipped her hand into Cabot's jacket, nor the way she glanced at him from the side as she walked by.

He actually held the door for her, as made her way to the elevator.

He would gladly throw his _friend_ and **_Employer_** under the _metaphorical_ and _literal_ bus as long as it meant that he stayed on that women's good side.

The fact that she had, killed a Kraken with nothing but a knife and a half-working SMG, limp back to a shuttle dragging Hyde while bucket carried Caira may have had something to do with it.

Shaking his head at the sheer insanity that came with working with such unique hunters, he finally made it to the last obstacle, or would have been obstacle, had the door not been swinging wide open and in the containment area of the bay, A Caira riding on top of a certain Lizard Beast like it was a dog, he would have passed it off.

Instead, he turned around to contemplate his next move.

Go back and deal with Maggie and Cabot?

Or go into the Goliath loose zone with his obliviously unhinged comrade.

...

"Hey Caira, room for one more?"


	3. Chapter 3

Apparently being set on fire, even by human chemicals doesn't negatively affect the body of a goliath. It also helps to know that although the skin plates on a Goliath's body are effective enough to endure fire from civilian weaponry rounds; it gets real annoying, real quick, picking out every goddamn round from in-between them.

Caira was standing on my shoulder blades, hands searching for squashed casings from between my upper neck plates. She was still chuckling to herself as she scraped a round that had made a nice marble shape after hitting my skull. Nearby a sizeable pile of spent rounds made a neat pile. 425 shots fired. 349 rounds found.

Cabot was still talking to the sheepish Colony leader, who did her best to ignore the enraged scarlet eye's burning into her very soul. A low guttural growl was made as I glared at the savaged sentry turrets. Being shot at by those things wasn't the true issue, more than the grenade turret that had been spamming rounds at me in a haze of napalm and thunderous explosions.

Plonk

350

I snorted hot plumes of smoke from between my flared nostrils, as I turned my attention back to the jungle. Something was watching us, and with those turrets down, I had little doubt that it wouldn't attack before the day ended. Whatever it was, it was bi-

Plonk

351

…it was something **_big_**.

Whatever it was, it was just at the edge of my senses. And it could sense _me._

_I'm sorry that this chapter is so short but I can tell you that it leads to something epic, and this was as much as I feel could leave you guys wanting for more._


End file.
